It is quite easy and somewhat cathartic to express the issues and problems you are having in your life with the facelessness and anonymity of the internet. Except, of course, when you are not so anonymous. You have made your blog semi public, by hiding links to your updates in the midst of your silly Tweets. But it is not like you are explicitly advertising.
Your blog will remain obscure and largely unread, until you post something "wrong" or too personal - then everyone will read it and things can get... very bad.
I say this from experience. My experience being the one and only time I maintained consistency with any sort of blog format and that was when I had a video blog when I was 14 going on 15. When the boys of my grade discovered them, I was a pariah for the remainder of my high school career. The scars from their cruelty are still not fully healed, though, now, they are almost as faint as the scuffs on my knees from when I tripped and fell on concrete when I was 10. Which is to say that they don't trouble me much anymore, but I have not quite forgotten them.
But what am I afraid of?
I am 22 years old. I rarely/barely break the law and, if I do, it's unintentional. I've escaped the illegalities of my vices (drinking) when I turned the victorious age of 21 and I can now say publicly that a glass of wine never hurt anybody - without fact checking it's validity. I have a small, but stable social life. I have a cluster of forever friends and a slightly bigger cluster of fun-for-now friends that I enjoy being with - none that I believe I would offend by my unassuming blog.
So... fuck it.
Let's test what I can share and what I can't. I can't promise I won't be vague, but I can promise that I will try not to be.
I'm sorry to say that I was among the litany of those criticisms directed toward you during that time period.For what it's worth, I am genuinely sorry for the damage I may have caused. When a person is abused and does not confront the scars of their own abuse, they are likely to become an abuser themselves. This would be the case for me. I too at the age of 14-15 was the subject of such torment and scrutiny by a similar audience. As a result of never confronting the pain it caused me, I visited the same upon others and became what I hated. I hope that the same will not occur for you....And I wish for you nothing but happiness.
ReplyDeleteBe well...
-The Unknown