I've been hitting new lows lately. I already wasn't on a particular high , but on December 15 I got some bad news.... and I... haven't been handling it well.
I did something very nice for Turtle Man, more or less before this bad news, but he did not receive it until after and I don't think he understands that he is dealing with two different Little Tornados.
The one before was a muted storm - not doing super well, but not doing poorly.
Now, I"m a tempest. My emotions are everywhere. I'm sad all the time, which is something I am NOT used to. My body image is in the toilet. My sense of self worth in general is suffering.
All of these feelings, including some anger I should have expressed to Turtle Man but instead kept it bottled up, pretty much exploded when I was on vacation with all of my firends and I feel like any good will I earned is gone. And that I am just terrible and worthless and.... it's just all a little too real.
I go back and forth from being angry and sad and whenever I'm happy I feel like I don't deserve to be and I go back to being angry or sad.
I just want to sleep indefinitely.
I don't know.
*Shrugs*
Little Tornado
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