Today wasn't anything special.
I woke up around 11:30 - later than I expected to, but not altogether late.
I'm back in the suburbs staying with my parents for what I say is the last time but that is not entirely true.
I am in the last (and first) leg of grad school and this will be the last month of my life where I can officially say I have NOTHING going on. So, in a way, this is the last time in my life I will be slumming at my parents house with nothing to do. But it will not be the last time living at my parents house.
June waits ominously as the move-back-in date that has been inevitably approaching ever since I started college four and a half years ago. My job does not start until August 10th, so there is no hope of moving out AT LEAST until then. After that it I am walking the line as to how long I can live at home (difficult for 2 reasons) and how much money I want to save.
At the maximum rent I have budgeted for myself, living at home for a year will save me a whopping $20,000. If the sum was not so high, this would be a non issue.
I don't think I could handle more than a year - I'm not even sure I can handle just the one.
Part of it is the freedom I am giving up - not being able to come and go as I please and the ever present unspoken curfew (how late is too late?). My parents are not unreasonable. They are a dream since how they were when I was in high school. But I am not in high school. I am 22 years old with a very serious boyfriend that I am used to spending a lot of time with. I have a crazy best friend who keeps me young in the same way that Turtle Man keeps me old - one that sometimes likes to keep me out until 5 in the morning. A lifestyle they do not approve of.
Turtle Man himself presents another distinct issue. I don't think I am shocking anyone by saying that a 22 year old has her boyfriend sleep over quite a bit. That would be done with me moving home. And even when he gets his own place, will I have to lie to go over there?
These are all mundanities that I will face when the time comes.
My biggest issue lies thus:
I will have to tell people I'm living in the suburbs.
The thought makes me cringe. Maybe I am a snob, but I've been looking down at my high school compatriots who went to their state schools and have moved back to the suburbs (whether with their parents or not) and gloried in the musk of suburb bars. I have not been to such a bar since I was under 21 (with my Golden Ticket to bar-land) and even then I went ironically. The thought of these bars swarming with not only my graduating class but my younger brother's graduating class? I shudder.
I don't even think much more highly of the ones who have moved into the city. They make a big show of inviting everyone from high school to stay with them and go out and... I know I'm being unreasonable.
In a previous post I mentioned that the scars from high school have not totally faded. What helped me was viewing Chicago as my own special club - one I had a right to. It didn't bother me that people were moving into the city - because I had been there longer.
I just know that if I go back to the suburbs... I won't feel myself.
This is the true reason why the year will be hard.
But I suppose I will have to suck it up....
I will return to this sour subject at a later date I am sure.
#
Anyway, today was fine.
I helped the mother make Christmas cookies - kind of.
And I walked Daisy and let her frolic through the tundra of the reservoir, but she seemed to enjoy it.
I drove Turtle Man and I to the city to go to the Chriskrindlmarket (tourist trap) and the ice rink at Millennium Park (another tourist trap and we didn't even skate. We have rescheduled for Monday). We saw someone proposed to on the ice and that made me smile - I have ever witnessed a proposal IRL before. We went to the Billie Goat Tavern and Turtle Man made fun of me. We hung out at my apartment for a little bit and watched YouTube videos. And then I drove us home.
Nothing special, but I was still happy about the time.
I miss Turtle Man. Which is silly because I just saw him 3 hours ago - but it is the truth. A little over 2 years in and he is still my favorite person and my best friend.
I am very lucky to have him and my forever friends in my life.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Trivial Drivel 22: "Tough" Decisions
Have you ever been friends with a couple? I'm not talking about your friend being in a relationship. I'm talking about being friends with both members of a relationship. It definitely has some great pros but that is not what I'm about today.
What do you do when your couple friend is fighting? Who do you side with? Are there sides? I typically try to talk to each party constructively. Letting them vent and giving advice if they want it but never bashing the other person. This typically has worked well for me. However, what do you do with secrets or shady information?
I have been put in this situation twice now. Most recently last night. Though they are different. I will detail the first as it's less fresh and more unbiased.
SITUATION #1
I have a good friend, let's call her Kitty Cat. Kitty Cat is dating 007. 007 doesn't have the squeakiest of reputations and that's always caused a bit of turbulence in their relationship. Well, it came to my attention, that 007 had been nefarious with another woman at the beginning of him and. Kitty Kat's relationship. Being good friends with both of them, I had to decide what to do.
WHAT I DID: I let 007 know that I was going to tell Kitty Kat what I heard and then told Kitty Kat.
HOW IT WORKED OUT FOR ME: 007 was very pissed at me and I had to deal with his anger (by crying mostly, for as direct as I am, I'm also a huge pussy). They are still together and everything is out in the open and 007 is much less shady. I do not regret my plan of action. Plus he seems to have forgiven me. Probably because of all of the crying.
SITUATION #2
This time I was an eye witness to the shady event. Also there is a bit more gray area on the rights and wrongs of the situation but pretty black and white about how the person would feel if they knew.
WHAT I DID: I told my friend.
HOW IT WORKED OUT FOR ME: I don't know yet. Time will tell. But this isn't about me. All I know is that two of my friends are really hurting and I don't want them to. I don't know if they'll stay together or officially end it. Or how they talked about it or anything really. But it's not my business if they do not choose to share it with me.
I know they will both be ok. Eventually. It may take time. But they are both wonderful people and are going to lead wonderful lives, regardless if they are together or not.
Bottom line: I made this post under the illusion that I had a choice in this matter, when I didn't. I will always tell my friends something they should know. My only regret is that I did not give the accused party the chance to tell my hurt friend before I stepped in. But a clouded mind and a throbbing morning after headache did not exactly help my judgement.
We'll see how it all plays out.
Little Tornado
What do you do when your couple friend is fighting? Who do you side with? Are there sides? I typically try to talk to each party constructively. Letting them vent and giving advice if they want it but never bashing the other person. This typically has worked well for me. However, what do you do with secrets or shady information?
I have been put in this situation twice now. Most recently last night. Though they are different. I will detail the first as it's less fresh and more unbiased.
SITUATION #1
I have a good friend, let's call her Kitty Cat. Kitty Cat is dating 007. 007 doesn't have the squeakiest of reputations and that's always caused a bit of turbulence in their relationship. Well, it came to my attention, that 007 had been nefarious with another woman at the beginning of him and. Kitty Kat's relationship. Being good friends with both of them, I had to decide what to do.
WHAT I DID: I let 007 know that I was going to tell Kitty Kat what I heard and then told Kitty Kat.
HOW IT WORKED OUT FOR ME: 007 was very pissed at me and I had to deal with his anger (by crying mostly, for as direct as I am, I'm also a huge pussy). They are still together and everything is out in the open and 007 is much less shady. I do not regret my plan of action. Plus he seems to have forgiven me. Probably because of all of the crying.
SITUATION #2
This time I was an eye witness to the shady event. Also there is a bit more gray area on the rights and wrongs of the situation but pretty black and white about how the person would feel if they knew.
WHAT I DID: I told my friend.
HOW IT WORKED OUT FOR ME: I don't know yet. Time will tell. But this isn't about me. All I know is that two of my friends are really hurting and I don't want them to. I don't know if they'll stay together or officially end it. Or how they talked about it or anything really. But it's not my business if they do not choose to share it with me.
I know they will both be ok. Eventually. It may take time. But they are both wonderful people and are going to lead wonderful lives, regardless if they are together or not.
Bottom line: I made this post under the illusion that I had a choice in this matter, when I didn't. I will always tell my friends something they should know. My only regret is that I did not give the accused party the chance to tell my hurt friend before I stepped in. But a clouded mind and a throbbing morning after headache did not exactly help my judgement.
We'll see how it all plays out.
Little Tornado
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